You could say my initial approach to creating the perfect Valentine’s Day date was misguided.
Small-minded people might characterize it as pitifully inept.
I’d just turned 16. It was in driving school, and I had just met an impossibly lovely and exotic French girl. Let’s call her Laurence G (in case she decides to sue me for assaulting her with traumatic memories). More improbable than her beauty was how I had somehow mustered the guts to ask her out. She said oui, and we set a date. And, wanting to make a big impression, set about to find something to wear that showed what a hip and international guy I was.
So I went to a fashion boutique about the size of a broom closet in Washington, D.C. and spent a lot of my parents’ money on a shirt whose style could best be described as Proletarian Poodle.
It was gray and puffy enough to fit three of me, with a collar open nearly to my belly button.
When at last we met for our group date, Laurence and her couples friends showed up dressed like preppy Americans. In other words, just like I dressed on any day but this one.
I’d like to say my charm won over my wardrobe … but that would be, as they say in France, un big fat lie.
Laurence’s friends were very nice to me, in the way that bright, well-adjusted people are to the criminally insane.
To calm my nerves, and find ways to drown out her friends’ increasingly more obvious mirth at my get-up, I drank. A lot. Stingers. Screwdrivers. Rum and Cokes. Rum and rums.
If this tactic helped endear me to Laurence, I can’t remember. You see, at some point in the evening I’d fallen asleep (that’s nice-talk for passed out dead drunk) – and woken up in the backseat of her friend’s car. Sans Laurence, of course.
I was mightily bummed to have blown it with Laurence. But as far as I know she and her friends mercifully took no pictures of me in that shirt.
So while I may not have learned since then how to dress better, I have learned how to drink better (I’ve also learned that girls aren’t all that into guys who dress like extras from Les Miserables).
Most any bibulous beginning to Valentine’s Day should begin with bubbly.
While you can’t go wrong with the real stuff – Champagne, that is – domestic sparklers are often as good – and less expensive.
Among the best I’ve tried recently are produced by Domaine Carneros Brut Cuvee (about $26 per bottle), made with organically grown grapes.
You’d find an excellent value in Korbel California Brut Champagne ($18), also made with organically grown grapes. This is Korbel’s first crack at bubbly fashioned from organic grapes, and it’s quite good. Incidentally, I’ll soon be posting a Q&A I recently did with the winemaker.
For price and taste – and with an Italian accent – go for Mionetto Organic Prosecco ($16). This one was a wonderful surprise. While I’ve long been a fan of Mionetto’s proseccos, this organic version had a delicacy of flavor and bubbles that won me over for good. If I can score an interview with one of the winemakers, I’ll ask how he/she pulls this nifty trick off.
I’ll have some Valentine’s Day cocktail recipes up in the next day or so…
